This series of 5 videos will raise your awareness of an individuals’ unique grief journey following bereavement. There will be consideration of the impact of bereavement and loss on children, adults, and wider family members.
These videos have been developed in response to recommendations from a Child Safeguarding Practice Review.
They are suitable for all those working in any setting, who may encounter people who are living with grief.
The videos are intended to enhance your understanding of bereavement, to support and enhance best practice, (not to offer counselling training). They will help you to be professionally curious, to understand how to ask deeper questions, to be comfortable with the language you use and to effectively manage emotional responses which you might observe or receive.
Trainer details
Zoe Hamilton Wynne is the Training & Bereavement Manager for the National Bereavement Service. With extensive experience in learning and development across all sectors, including statutory organisations such as the NHS, global corporations, charities and academia, Zoe is highly adept at conducting needs assessments, developing training materials, and delivering engaging and informative sessions tailored to diverse audiences. Zoe is deeply committed to providing evidence-based, tailored, compassionate and comprehensive bereavement training to support both individuals and organisations navigating the complexities of bereavement.
Preparation for the session
Before watching these videos you should have completed the Introduction to Safeguarding Children and Young People either through your own agency or the LSCP. You should have a good understanding of safeguarding and your own organisation's relevant policies and procedures.
Charges
There are no charges for watching these videos.
Videos
Bereavement: Faith and cultural traditions
Bereavement support should be sensitive to tradition, respectful, flexible, and inclusive. Avoid assumptions, ask about individual needs, and adapt approaches, especially for those in new cultural contexts.
Faith and culture shape how grief is expressed and:
- Influence beliefs about death, the afterlife, and the purpose of mourning Dictate mourning rituals (length, formality, intensity)
- Define roles of family, gender, and community during bereavement Affect communication style – who discusses death, and how.
Rituals and professional considerations:
- Funerals, burial/cremation, anniversaries, dress codes, dietary customs Avoid assumptions about culture or religion
- Ask respectfully about specific customs and needs Respect unfamiliar practices
- Remain flexible and adapt services.
Grief in a new cultural context:
- Risk of isolation without traditional support networks
- Difficulty performing rituals due to cultural/environmental barriers Cultural conflict may cause emotional strain
- May lack access to culturally appropriate services
- Risk of secondary losses – identity, community, belonging.
Supporting Children & Inclusive Practice:
- Take an individualised approach – each child's grief is unique Encourage open dialogue about cultural beliefs
- Promote cultural awareness within teams and services Be flexible in how grief support is delivered
- Ensure inclusive participation in rituals
- Provide accessible information on death and culture Collaborate with families and community leaders.
Bereavement: Communication and Language
Use honest, clear, and age-appropriate language—especially with children and young people who are neurodiverse or have learning disabilities.
- Be honest, inclusive, and compassionate.
- Use simple, concrete language
- Say “died” instead of euphemisms like “gone to sleep” or “lost”
- Be age-appropriate – children asking questions are usually ready to hear the answers Avoid ambiguity – unclear language can cause fear or confusion.
Inclusive Communication for those with communication barriers:
- Use visual aids, social stories, photos, or drawings Repeat and check for understanding
- Provide accessible resources like Easy Read booklets.
Recognising Grief Beyond Words:
- Grief may be expressed through behaviour, mood, or physical changes, not just words Children and adults may need creative or active outlets (drawing, writing, music, sport) to process grief.
Listening Well:
- Avoid common pitfalls such as comparing, judging, interrupting, filtering, advising too soon
- Be present, patient, and open
- Invite questions and acknowledge feelings.
Grief: Developmental Considerations
Children experience bereavement differently from adults due to their developing understanding of death. Grief often shows through behaviour rather than words and can affect their learning, development, and sense of security.
Grief by Developmental Stage
Infants (0–2 years)
- Feel loss through absence, not concepts
- Grief is shown in distress, changes in sleep/eating, crying more, and unsettled behaviour
- I need consistency, physical comfort, and reassurance.
Preschool (3–5 years)
- May view death as temporary (like sleep)
- Magical thinking: may blame themselves or fear their own death
- Support with concrete language, expressive play, and clear reassurance.
Primary Age (6–10 years)
- Begin to grasp that death is permanent and universal May have death anxiety and curiosity
- Support with open conversations, age-appropriate detail, and emotional, creative outlets.
Early Adolescence (11–14 years)
- Understand death intellectually, but may feel emotionally overwhelmed Risk-taking may emerge as a coping strategy
- Need validation, peer support, and safe emotional spaces.
Late Adolescence (15–18+)
- Greater awareness of future implications of loss Value privacy and autonomy in grief
- Benefit from respectful support, space to explore identity, and beliefs
- Treat them as young adults.
Grief: Developmental Considerations
Children express grief differently to adults due to their limited emotional tools. Grief often shows through behaviour rather than words and can affect their learning, development, and sense of security.
- Grief may resurface during life transitions or anniversaries, like starting a new school or moving home.
- Neurodivergent individuals, or those with learning disabilities may face intensified challenges due to their reliance on routine and issues communicating.
Factors that shape a child’s grief:
- Nature of death (sudden, traumatic, expected) Relationship to the person who died
- Family dynamics and how they communicate
- Quality of adult caregiving and emotional modelling External support and stability
- Individual traits (age, gender, previous experiences, self-image)
Grief changes over time:
- A child's response to bereavement changes as they mature A child’s grief is not static—it evolves as they grow
- New emotional responses may emerge years later as their understanding deepens This is a normal part of development, not "unresolved grief."
- Ongoing, age-appropriate support is key
- Understanding matures, meaning of death changes through life. Young people will be grieving for life; ongoing support is crucial.
Reminder:
- A child's developmental age directly influences their understanding of the death and their response
- A child's understanding of death significantly changes as they mature For individuals with learning disabilities, this understanding may be partial, can develop at a different pace and may need reinforcement over time.
Bereavement: Family Functioning
Bereavement impacts adults in profound ways and is influenced by the relationship, individual coping styles and life circumstances
Bereavement in Adults:
- Can affect concentration, energy, mood, motivation, and tolerance
- Common signs of grief include: fatigue, irritability, sadness, anger, or withdrawal These are natural reactions, but may vary greatly between individuals.
Death of a Child:
- Deeply affects identity, purpose, and future outlook
- Impact shaped by: mental health, circumstances of death, family roles, and support systems
- Can strengthen or strain relationships, especially between partners
- Cultural and religious beliefs, socio-economic status and access to support, impact the ability to cope with the child's death.
Grief vs. Trauma:
- Grief: normal, healthy adjustment to loss
- Trauma: the body’s physiological response to an overwhelming event, a fear-based response needing specialist support
- Distinguishing the two helps guide appropriate care.
Effects on Family Functioning:
- Disruption to roles and routine
- Financial and emotional stress may arise Differing grieving styles can cause conflict Children may grieve in less verbal or visible ways.
Supporting Families:
- Validate all emotions and feelings
- Create space for honest, open expression Offer practical help and promote self-care Maintain routines, especially for children Share resources and support connections.
Understanding Long-Term Grief in Children and Young People
Misconception: “Children Get Over Grief Quickly”
In reality, grief is often a lifelong process; the idea that children are resilient and bounce back after a death is a myth, and this can hinder effective support.
Grief doesn’t end, it changes as a child’s understanding matures over time. Long-term, compassionate, and consistent support is essential to help children and young people learn to live with their grief.
Long-term effects and recurring challenges
Bereaved children may face several long-term challenges as they grow up: More anxious or cynical worldview
Avoidance behaviours Suppressed feelings Strained relationships Trust issues
Mental health risks: Anxiety, depression, PTSD.
How Grief Manifests Over Time
Young people can often mask their feelings, leading to bottled-up emotions, potentially affecting their mental health over time
Emotional masking: Hiding pain to "fit in"
Harder to detect in those with communication barriers.
Signs of Long-Term Struggles
Mood shifts: Anger, withdrawal, irritability Sleep or appetite changes
Decline in academic or work performance Substance use
Social isolation
Fear and reluctance to seek help
Identity struggles: “Who am I without them?”
Understanding Long-Term Grief in Children and Young People
The importance of stable routines cannot be underestimated; this has been shown to significantly increase resilience.
Self-awareness and understanding of their own emotions, coupled with the ability to express feelings safely, is key.
Key Protective Factors for Resilience
Feeling loved and supported
A strong, pre-existing support network Stability in routine and caregiving
Compassionate, empathetic professionals and carers.
Schools can make a significant difference by providing:
Safe space from home stressors. Trusted adult in school for check-ins
Plan for triggers (anniversaries, holidays, topics) Student-informed approach to reintegration Flexibility with deadlines and emotional responses Understanding of physical symptoms like fatigue Long-term grief support.
Practical Support Strategies
Honest, age-appropriate communication Validate emotions, even the unexpected Consider sensory and emotional environments Provide creative outlets (art, music, writing)
Support participation in rituals and memory-making: Memory books, boxes, photo sharing
Commemorate anniversaries and milestones Work collaboratively with families & agencies
Offer tailored, inclusive services (beyond talk therapy)
Consider secondary losses (moving, lost pets, school changes).